So let me share some things that I amuse myself with.
To respond to the sudden demand from idiot men who think that "looking like a bloke from Peaky Blinders" will mean they will pull women, I would like to enlighten them to the fact they will actually look like comedians from the 70s
"My portable cycle business folded unexpectedly last week - I'm still picking up the pieces"
"It's not just about sitting around the pool drinking pina coladas on the Costa del Sol you know? There are plenty of other cocktails to choose from".
"Did you hear - they are going to make it illegal to pour milk onto oats? You could end up doing porridge".
"I spent a whole hour this morning explaining in great detail to my wife what "mansplaining" is. I'm still not sure she understands".
"I was a a mere prefect until my spelling improved".